Friday, September 01, 2006
VMA dispatch from the low man on the totem pole.
You want to see the work of a true name dropping fuck??!!
I Worked a VMA afterparty last night.
E-40 called me pimpin' again, my cock grew another 10 inches. Ladies (over 33 only) get at me about an appointment. Paul Wall might be the coolest guy ever. Got bumrushed by Diddy's army-sized entourage. Paris Hilton danced her bony ass around on stage and still managed to be hot. Scott Storch brought his yacht. Danity Kane chicks were around...which is never a bad thing. I tripped my clumsy ass upstairs and almost stepped right on Lil Wayne and Juelz Santana. I said "holy shit", surprised the hell out of Wayne and shook his hand. The best part though was Ron Jeremy, who showed up looking like he rented surf boards in jersey, he was hanging out with a guy who I swear works at Southtown Bowl in Richfield. I shook his hand and told him I was a huge fan (Ron Jeremy, not the bowling alley guy). He didn't care. I wouldn't either.
Fuck me thats a lot of name dropping. T.I., Tom Brokaw, Robert Goulet, the ugly Hilton, Gary Busey, AFI, Tresemme Tresemme Loreal Paris, T-Mobile Sidekick. That's the point, fuckers.
My job was complete bullshit, in a good way. I was supposed to keep people off of reserved tables, so our artists and execs would have somewhere to chill. This basically meant i got to get dressed up, stand around, talk to people, and enjoy all the scattered ass running around the place. It also meant I had an excuse to introduce myself as "a label guy" to artists. Which is fun until they send you on runs for sugar free redbull and pot stickers.
I was pretty "on" until my job was over around 1:30 and I got a hold of some free black label. Then the pain in my legs and my empty stomach took over. I alienated a lot of my uptight co-workers, drank my first ever shot of patron, and bowed out gracefully to pass out on the train at 4 am.
I will have a deeper analysis later, complete with a discussion of social standards, class warfare, and the deeper meaning of all this glitzy open bar horseshit. Now, I am sleepy and bored and truly dont give a fuck because I had fun last night.