If you read this, do me a favor, tonight, slam/drink 4 beers in 40 minutes. Easy, no problem. Slam 'em and grab your cell phone. Go through it, find the phone numbers of all those random women/men you managed to grub digits off of. I'm talking randoms, the ones who probably don't know who you are. I know you all have plenty of numbers like that at your disposal. Bonus points if you skeeted/sat on their chin but that is beside the point. Take your 4 beer buzz and give them a call, what you do from there is your business...mostly, but please say one of these three things:
a.) I just got back from the doctor, and its not looking good.
b.) "You're the ebony to my ivory" (bonus points if she isn't actually "ebony".
c.) "Hey momma! You still do that thing with the back of your throat??"
d.) "I love you."
Really, try it, let me know what happens. Email me the results at warnberh@gmail.com
I'm serious. If one person does this (HIGHLY unlikely) I will be ecstatic.
This blog is now interactive, now go for it.
More to come later.
And now, Shane fuckin McGowan of The Pogues. The greatest man to ever walk the earth (?)
beginning...
during...
now?...
2 comments:
Ogre: nice post man, wish I was single and could do things like that....
me: haha ohhhh but you can..
ahem, [woman!] friend with the clit piercing?
Ogre: Last time I tried to call her I called the wrong [woman!] and ended up talking to a chick in san fran for half an hour....
I guess, there's your story.....
Hey, I actually asked a guy who does body piercing whether or not my two girlfriends who have clit piercings could have gotten them done at the same time while holding hands....
He said probably not.
My fantasy called him a liar.
me: hahahahahahaha
see!
there we go!!!
me: need to listen to more bad brains.....
im going to post that as a comment....can i do that? does [girlfriend!] read this thing?
Ogre: Is that instructions or inner monologue?
which part? the clit fantasy?
me: yup
Ogre: Yeah, [girlfriend!] definitely does not read the blog...
me: the whole conversation
haha ok
Ogre: I've tried to make her but it doesn't work.
me: ha, she would totally think i was a pig
Ogre: yeah, I think writing like yours (and mine) scares most girls.
Dude I bet Mcgowan can still sing the shit of fairy tale of New York. Also "My fantasy called him a liar." is probably the funniest thing I've read today.
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