Zombeeeeeeatch!

Ha, so here is another fucking zombie story. They are so much fun to write, this was inspired by Ryan starting this site. Now go there and submit some fucked up ass zombie fiction.

If you are looking for the bumbling post about my misguided cunt-hunt on Saturday, look below this one....cunt-hunt....I literally just made that up and now I feel like a filthy bastard for putting it to type....


WRAP YER WEASEL, SON:
--Ask anybody out here, they will tell you that I bring in money. Steadily. Godzilla could be wrecking shop around here stepping on buildings and shit, and I’d have him hitting me up for trim and blow on a Saturday night. I work. This is what I do.

I have to look at my assets, play the hand I’m dealt. So when my two main bitches caught a bite, I didn’t think it meant they had to stop working. There’s some fucked up people out there bro. You name it, it’s out there. I knew of one dude who would show up with his own novocaine and busted ass dental equipment. For real, shit was rusty and crusted with old blood. He’d have the girls hit him up with novocaine and fucking rip his teeth out while he jerked off. Once he ran out of teeth I never saw him again. Shit was wild, but you see my point, there’s a market for all kinds of shit…including people who want to fuck zombies.

Who knows why they wanted it, doesn’t matter, even when things were bad, I’d have these twitchy motherfuckers trading me food and old cell phones and shit to get at one of my Zombitches…that’s what I called them. I know the name sucks, but I’m not advertising pro. I’m more like a “Fuck you, pay me” type of pro.

I had them there, chained up like whoa. Sometimes I would have them gagged, but some of the johns liked the gag off, so they could have that zombitch gnashing and snapping and howling at them while they got fucked. Sometimes I wondered if the girls could feel it, if they liked it, through those dirty eyes, did they know what was happening? Sometimes they moaned louder, but I think that was because they had a meal right there, literally inside of them, and they couldn’t have it.

If they did get at them though, I was ready. The catch was that I would have to be there, right there in the room when they did it. If they got bit, I would wax them right then and there, no questions asked.

It actually worked better for me after they turned, because before, the girls were all, “I need to eat, I need to get my nails done, my kids need a babysitter” all that shit. Now, they just lay around, chained up, making that money, all profit.

No blowjobs though, that became a law after I saw this one dude go for it like it was a good idea. I think the danger is part of the turn on for these guys, but putting your unit in the mouth of a G bitch? You might as well be sticking your dick in a blender. You can guess how that one ended….my girl getting a snack and my gun getting some work.

Condoms too, those were a rule. Unless you were fuckin’ stupid. Who knew what type of fucked up ass STDs a zombie bitch would have.

What can I say? This war was good for business. Pimpin zombies definitely ain’t easy, but it’s definitely easier than pimping regular bitches.