Kung Fu Drunk

"Kung Fu Drunk"

I need to remember that phrase, it came to me in my sleep last night dreaming of underwater combat with the Aliens from the Alien movies.

It had a narrator,
"Ash was able to free himself, slicing the thing above the left shoulder with his plasma torch. He backpedaled, piss scared, violent, and kung-fu drunk. With the thing inches from his face, he closed the door to the facility, set the timed lock for 30 years, and took off his helmet to figure out what the fuck was going on."

Of course, immediately after that, a different door opened and the alien came in riding a flood like Slim Pickens riding an A-bomb, hooting and hollering, singing something like "She'll be comin' round the mountain" in the most demented voice I've ever heard.

ANYWAY, I needed to write that down, because the phrase "Kung Fu Drunk" made a profound impact on me. If I were ever fighting zombies or aliens, I would make sure to achieve that kind of drunkenness, where my own strength is alien to me and my fear is almost non-existent. Like the time downtown when the 300 pound blacked out guy got directly in my face with a look that sharks must give to their prey, abusive husbands to their wives. I just stood there and didn't move, too drunk to register the threat, or too drunk to care, I looked him right in the eyes until he walked away.

The Alien had a voice like the guy singing in this song. This song/band is fucking amazing. The band is called Battles, the song is "Atlas".

OK thanks for reading, proof that dreams are a hodgepodge of shit you've recently experienced:

1. I've watched Alien and Aliens and Alien 3 more times than you jerked off last year.
2. Just read a section in my zombie book about underwater zombie combat.
3. Battles fucking rule.
4. The vocals in that song fucking rule.
5. Slim Pickens in Dr. Strangelove is funny as hell.

...that was a weird one. More to come later.