Monday, December 11, 2006

The Queen's English

"If you don't come I ain't gon' die..."
Inadvertently my new motto....

A word about the "Queens English", I've been hanging out with a bunch of kids from Queens for a while now, and I've noticed a few things about the way they talk. I'm a fucking anthropologist now apparently. Keep in mind this might be a regional thing, not just Queens, but hey...

A few points on how to speak in Queens.

First thing you need to know is you have to say "yo" before almost everything you say. Second, you have to say "bro" after everything you say. You'd think the "yo" part would sound kind of corny, but once you hear it in conversation, it sounds so natural you wonder why the hell you haven't been using it all along. As a prefix to a sentence, its a fuckload better than "like". And "bro"? I'm not joking, if you think you are saying it too much, say it 5 times more. These people say "bro" a LOT bro. See Ari's impersonation of E in one of the most recent episodes of Entourage for an illustration. Its pretty accurate. I would take this any day over the preferred suffix in my homeland, "eh?", which makes you just want to stick a motherfucker all the way back to Montreal.

Another thing, if you are talking about a person, even if they are in the room, it is perfectly OK to call them "this guy". Example:
"Yo, this guy thinks he's Charles Bronson with that mustache bro."
Or, if they aren't in the room
"Yo I've been calling this guy all day bro, motherfucker can't pick up his phone bro"

Furthermore, if someone has used too much of something, they have "OD'd" (pronounced um.... 'Oh deeeed').
"Yo man this guy Od'd on the Cool Water tonight bro".

That brings me to "Yo man", (pronounced 'YO Maaaaaaaaaaan') this is an expression of disgust, used to let the person know they are fuckin' up. You don't really need to say more outside of this short phrase to let someone know you aren't pleased. You are not ready to hurt them, just peeved...they served you a 7 and water instead of a CC and water, or they forgot to take their nasty shoes off in your house. Yeah, like that.

Finally, "Brick". This one is new to me about 2 days ago. "Brick" means "cold". I don't fucking understand how, but it is definitely the case. My roommate explained that it is called "brick" because the cold is like being hit in the face with a brick...I don't buy it but I don't have a choice. A popular variation is, "Man it is Brick City out there today." I tried this when I walked into a shoe store in Astoria on Saturday. Guy asked me how it was out there, I responded with an enthusiastic, "Brick CITY out there bro", guy just gave a knowing nod and a smile and went to hit on his big-assed co-worker behind the counter. This phrase is not to be confused to mean "New Jersey"...I'm 90 percent sure a few parts New Jersey call themselves "Brick City" sometimes, but I stay far the fuck away from Jersey and anyone who lives there so I've never had verification.

So there you have it. Oh yeah, ugly girls are known as "busted", which is just plain fun to say.

EDIT: "Custy": This is short for "Customer", namely the customer of a drug dealer. Ghostface uses this term in his verse on that new Beyonce track. I don't know what its called so don't ask.

Apparently there are various levels a "Custy" can achieve. The highest is "Best Custy". If you are one of these, you can basically hit up your dealer at any hour of the night, and he will hook you up straight out of his personal stash. Depending on the drug, you are probably also allowed some amount of credit. But...

"Number six: that God damn credit, dead it
You think a crackhead payin you back, shit forget it"
-Notorious B.I.G., Ten Crack Commandments


More to come later.

1 comment:

drew said...

if you have nothing to do, you should go to this:

at the knitting factory. the guys in Dead To Fall are good friends of mine and A Life Once Lost are fucking cool guys too. If you want to go, call me and I'll make sure they get you in for free and you can all get fucking shithammered