Alright, so my friends are a bunch of Scheister scumbags, thats right. I love you guys but none of you are blameless - all flawed and terrible people just like me, so I will be airing your dirty laundry all over this thing. BOO-YAH!
My first subject is Jess, this whole thing was her idea.
I once saw Jess decline a phone call from her grandmother because she was drunk and playing skee-ball in a bar. She never called her back.
I also heard that one time, Jess' mom gave her a really expensive jacket from Chanel one winter and she sold it at a vintage clothes store for 1/3 the price because it "wasn't her style".
Another time, a friend of a friend gave her a demo CD from her new band. This friend of a friend worked for 2 years and spent all the money from her mom's accidental death malpractice suit to record the demo. She could only afford one copy, so she gave it to Jess, thinking that it would be in good hands. Jess told her she would "check it out and pass it along". She listened to it once, called it "stupid hippie jam-band bullshit" and took it out to listen to Creed instead. She now avoids the friend of a friend's phone calls.
She also runs toddler fights in the back of a van in Long Island City. The toddlers are all also disabled and punch drunk from all the fighting. Her main fighter, a 3 year old monster who goes by the handle "BrickDick" just had to retire so she has been prowling daycares "looking for new talent".
Jess is a nefarious individual, stay away at all costs.
You're next. Yes, you.
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