Monday, July 24, 2006


O’Reily from the old HBO show "Oz" (you know the one with the prison, where Elliot Stabler is a fruit bat) wandered into the office today. We share the floor with a large internet company that is on it's way to ruling the world. A lot of people wander into our office thinking they are walking into the offices of this famous acronym we share the floor with. O’reily is one of these people. Me "Hello. How can I help you?"
O'Reily [Sits Down] "Yeah I'm here to see (some name I've never heard)."
Me "I'm sorry, that person doesn't work here."
O'Reily [Gets out cell phone] "I just talked to him. Make it happen." At this point I'm surprised he hasn't called me "Chief".

I knew long before he did that he was in the wrong place, but I didn't want to be a dick about it. I mean, its O'reily, he'll probably get Cyrill to fondle me in my sleep with a coat hanger or some shit if I fuck with him. So I lead O’reily over to the acronym while he mumbles something about being high.

Speaking of “O’”names…I also work near the headquarters of a news network that most dirty sandal-wearing liberals despise. My friends Cliff, Tweak, and I were walking down the street when we see the networks most famous and most hated anchor, O'fuckhead.

O’fuckhead walks by, Cliff recognizes his face only, O’fuckhead smiles.
Cliff [Points] “Jerk.”
(This was amazing, the way he said it was somewhere between a question and a declarative statement.)
O’fuckhead stops smiling.
Cliff “Who was that guy?”

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