From Michelle: "just for kicks, how about you write about NJ wanting to ban Brazilians. I wanna read this one."
OK, i got this. The New Jersey State Cosmetology and Hairstyling Board (a real, actual legislative body) recently moved to ban the Brazilian Wax after two women got infections after undergoing the procedure, in which body hair is forcibly removed from a person's pubic area, via hot wax and..stuff.
USA Today breaks it down
Now, I think this is a bit of overreaction on the part of the NJSCHB. What should be banned is the place these women got their Brazilians done. If your "Aesthetician" is a Guido in Newark who gives "waxes" using hot driveway tar and duct tape in the back of a windowless van covered in Yeast Infection then you deserve whatever infection you got. So suck it up and don't ruin it for everyone else.
In closing, although painful for those receiving them, Brazilians are ultimately pretty cool, and if they ban them in Jersey then we will have more of those Jersey types clogging the bridges and tunnels to get renegade waxes in the "free" state of New York. No one wants that.
EDIT in response to "clean" comments: Balls. Fucker. Asspuncher. Boobies.